Friday, May 30, 2014

Holding on to Your Worldview

Lots of people wonder how they can really believe in anything when the world is full of so much insanity.  The internet only makes things worse, because any yahoo can spout off about anything they want to using their own personal blog.  Present company excepted, of course, because I'm no yahoo.

Anyway, you were asking about how a person can hold onto their beliefs in the face of all this nonsense.  Of course, I know you're thinking "I didn't ask you anything, you yahoo."  Or words to that effect.  See what I did there?  It was a brilliant way to establish credibility by acting as if you were seeking me out for information.  A real yahoo would never have done that - they would have just jumped directly into their rant.
As I was saying, staying sane is as easy as following three easy steps:

1. Question Everything

And when I say "question everything" I mean that you should ask this question: Does this new piece of information I have just learned support my existing world view?

If the answer is yes, you may accept this new information and immediately begin repeating it as fact.  It supports your deeply held beliefs, and you're smarter than everyone else, so why wouldn't it be a fact?

If the answer is no, you may immediately reject this new information as lies or pure drivel.

Once you have established the veracity of the new information you've encountered, you're ready to move to step 2.

2. Attack the Morons Who Disagree With You

Some people are so dumb that they will disagree with your approach in step 1.  They'll say that you can't accept a story that aligns with what you believe if it isn't back up by "facts".  Or, they'll say that you can't reject information that is backed up by "facts" just because you don't agree with it.

We all know that "facts" just get in the way when you're trying to make a good point, and so do these people that seem to love them so much.  The only way to deal with these people is to call them what they are: morons.  Keep calling them that until they go away.  Trust me, you'll be a lot better off without them.

I know I said there was three easy steps, but actually there's just the two.  This just goes to show that you don't have to be good at math or even be able to count to hold on to your world view.  All you have to do is follow these easy steps, and no amount of new information will be able to make you uncomfortable again.

You're welcome.