Thursday, March 27, 2014

Life Insurance Questions

Getting life insurance is a process full of many questions for the prospective insured to answer.  Unfortunately, the questions are unbearably dull, and no one even knows what most of them mean.  Here is how a life insurance questionnaire should look:

  1. In the past 5 years, have you sold one or both kidneys on the internet?
  2. In the past 5 years, have you considered selling one or both kidneys on the internet?
  3. Did the above two questions make you think that selling kidneys on the internet might be a good idea?
  4. In the past 5 years, have you eaten a hot dog?
  5. In the past 5 years, have you done something monumentally stupid?
  6. In the past 5 years, have you considered doing something monumentally stupid, even if you later decided against it?
  7. In the past 5 years, have you uttered the phrase "You Only Live Once" (or used the acronym "YOLO") as justification for any activity?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you are not insurable.  Please try back in 5 years after you have eliminated these risks - if you survive.